Stylish dudes stalking the streets of Beijing.

I want this man to be my new boyfriend.

Sexcare

...no comment.

Inconvenience Store

Chinese convenience stores are the least convenient stores on the planet....how are you supposed to find ANYTHING in this crazy smorgasbord?

Snow in Beijing

It's snowed here already TWICE, even though it's only mid-November. (This is the view from our 8th-floor apt). The government makes it precipitate whenever meteorological conditions allow, in a (somewhat useless) attempt to alleviate the severe drought that's been plaguing Northern China for over 10 years now.

THEN, because there are NO PLOWS in this entire city, it snows 6 inches and is an UTTER MESS. Imagine a city of 12 million people where all the roads have to be cleared by HAND by an army of people with shovels and brooms. Practical. No, really...it provides jobs.

Also, the government reportedly uses hundreds of tons of chemicals on the road surface to get the snow to melt away. Safe. Smart. Environmentally friendly.

I made the mistake the other day when it snowed of riding my bike to work. I wasn't thinking properly when I left the abode, and was dressed in a skirt, tights, and heels--already a great bike-riding outfit. Then add 8 inches of snow, tons of dirty slush, and rabid Chinese drivers to the mix. Most of the ride consisted of me pedaling extremely slowly through massive puddles trying not to spray myself with slush, swerving to avoid cars that would spray me with slush, and attempting to steer through any situation without stopping so I didn't have to put my feet down in the cold, wet, sloppy road. I managed--this is a miracle--to only touch the ground ONCE on my entire 30-minute ride to work. It was quite the feat.

Going shopping

We've been to market recently full of garbage and kitschy things and curios and "antiques" and rip-offs...typical China style.



The last time we were there, we saw THIS outside the gates. I wanted to buy it and put it in a place of honor in our home, but Jenny vetoed.



Please also note the stuffed chicken and other stuffed birds perching on this display of taxidermied magnificence. The guy in the back might be taxidermied as well, but I'm not sure.



Me buying sweet potatoes from an angry migrant worker.

snakes on a plane?

YES!

They really need some environmental legislation here...

Sweet pics of pollution in China...



In Ma’anshan, Anhui province (安徽马鞍山), along the Yangtze River there are many small-scale iron selection factories and plastic processing plants. Large amounts of sewage discharged into the Yangtze River.


Guiyu, Guangdong province, (广东省贵屿镇) rivers and reservoirs have been contaminated--this woman is washing--yep, washing--in a seriously polluted pond.


Henan Anyang iron and steel plant’s (河南安阳钢铁厂) sewage flowed into Anyang River.


Chemical waste from Jiangsu Taixing Chemical Industrial District (江苏泰兴化工园区) dumped on top of the Yangtze River bank.



I think this one speaks for itself. Want to see more?? Go here.

Chairman Mao was a crazy person

The more historical evidence that comes to light, the clearer it becomes that Mao was a pretty ignorant and unsophisticated person who was not qualified to lead a country. Lacking knowledge of governance, economics, sociology, etc, he appears to have been bumbling along on the steam of his own narrow-minded preconceptions of how the world works. For instance, when meeting with Kissinger in 1973, just after diplomatic relations with the US had been re-established, Mao proposed sending 10 million Chinese women to the US. He said that this would solve part of China's population problem, and since these women were apparently so good at reproducing, they would overwhelm the US with a population boom of Chinese, thus wreaking havoc on the US economy. What a brilliant, feasible, and convincing plan to strike back at the US, right? Makes SO MUCH SENSE.

flee the scene!

Jenny suggests that if microfinance doesn't work out, I quit and buy a pink yacht and sail around the world. Really, sounds better and better every day.

She also recommends that it be sponsored by Hello Kitty. I think this is reasonable and appealing.

Breathe in!

Today there was a big wind blowing from the northwest...the air was grey with grit, and garbage swirled through the streets. It felt grimy and dusty and dirty to even be outside. But I bet we'll wake up tomorrow and the wind will be gone and the sky will be a clear, clear blue. In fact, we've had more blue sky days this fall since any fall in recent record. Statistics show that the air in Beijing is actually getting CLEANER--can you believe it? Maybe someday this won't be the worst place in the world to live, after all.

This Week's Alarming Statistic

14,000: Number of active Facebook users left in China, down from 1 million before the site was blocked in July.

Go Communist Party!

IKEA

The last time I went to IKEA, it was a crazy madhouse. Most things in China are a crazy madhouse, and you get used to it, but IKEA on a Saturday really tops it all. People are packed in, shunted along the zig-zagging track they lay out for you, smashing into each other with their carts and purchases. There's people crawling all over everything, sitting on the chairs and couches, and sleeping--I kid you not--in the beds. They hang out and play with their kids in the kids' section, and they relax and chat in the living rooms. They have their hands all over everything and yet nothing in their bags or carts.

The LA Times confirms today how ridiculous this is. IKEA barely turns a profit in Beijing because everybody comes to look and touch and play but not to buy. Even if you don't read the whole article, at least look at the picture. It's hilarious. And SO TYPICAL.

It's like this:

I like when Chinese people begin an explanation. You'll ask a question, and if the answer seems particularly complicated or may require several sentences to make clear, they'll start out with a little hand gesture: both hands extended sideways in front of them, palms open, fingers together, like they're framing two sides of a box.

"Shi zheyang," they'll say. "It's like this." And then they'll begin their explanation.

Careful, though--if your question is too direct, or too pointed, or if you accidentally asked about something they don't want to talk about, they'll get around it by saying, "Oh, that's 'bu hao shuo...' 'not good to talk about,' or sort of, 'it's hard to say'." They might say, "oh, everything's 'hai xing'...'it's fine, it's the same, it's still ok'." They'll wheeze and waffle a little, and assure you that everything is great while simultaneously managing to be a) completely vague and b) quite unenthusiastic and yet c) not awkward or particularly uncomfortable, or at least, not making you feel that way.

It's quite a talent. Pretty soon, you'll take the hint and drop the matter or change the subject.

So! Finally back in Beijing

Back in Beijing as of last week. I started work last week, too, and will be moving in to a new apartment today!

Work: at 51give and its non-profit arm, 51Sim (Sim= Sustainable Innovation Movement). Both are involved in microfinance and rural development work in China, particularly focusing on renewable energy and sustainable projects.

Right now, as my first project, I'm taking over a business plan competition for university students with business plans in green energy. It should be pretty neat to see what they come up with, but I'm walking in in the middle of the whole thing, and the final event is in 2 weeks, so I guess that's a little crazed. Wait, crazed? Me? Never.

Most people in my office are Chinese--I'm the only American--but there's a French girl, a Mexican girl, and a bunch of Brits. It's hard to break the ice when everyone is afraid to speak to me because they don't know if my Chinese is passable or not.

Commuting in the mornings here is the most ridiculous thing ever. I'm not sure there's any other place on the planet more crowded than Beijing subways at rush hour. In the trains, it is 80,000 degrees, approximately, and you are pressed in among strangers with barely room to breathe. To get off at your stop, you have to elbow and shove people out of the way, while saying roughly, or possibly yelling, "I'm getting off! Let me off! I have to get off!!" If you don't push and shove and kick, you will miss your stop. Once off the train, you are shunted along in a veritable crush of people. This morning I am pretty sure I bruised a rib on a railing when shoved from behind going down a staircase.

What else? Apartment: more on that soon. It's a decent place but needs some work to make in habitable. My bedroom, in particular, resembles a Neanderthal cave more than a modern living space. It's decorated with absolutely HEINOUS reproductions of European masterpieces. For instance, you know the painting of Napoleon on the rearing steed, brandishing a sword? There's a 7-foot high print of that in the master bedroom. All the pictures are in incredibly tacky golden gilt frames....really, it's a gem in interior decorating. I'll put up some pictures for everybody's amusement in the next few days. We're living in Dongsishitiao, on the East side, if that means anything to anybody. No?

OK: back to my boring and awkward life at work, pretending I am useful. ha.

Going Back

Back to Beijing this coming Thursday, October 1. Can't wait!

More to come upon arrival.

Nanjing

I was in Nanjing this past weekend with IUP classmates and teachers. Nothing notable as I had already been there, but a fun train ride there and back, some blistering hot sunny days, a delightful Muslim meal with friends, and a less delightful visit to the Nanjing Massacre Museum. See it.

Yunnan Part Four

Dali and Kunming pictures.

Yunnan Part Three

After we left Lijiang, we headed to Tiger Leaping Gorge, the deepest gorge in the world (well, one of). The river is the Yangtze, before it gets really big and spreads out across the plains of central China. The gorge is named TLG because supposedly, in ancient times, a tiger leaped right across the frothy rapids to the other side.

On the first day, we walked ~14 miles, including 5200 meters vertical ascent (and then the worst part was, we had to come back down that same day). The second day was much shorter; we descended right down to the water (it was a raging river) and saw the purported "tiger leaping stone." Given that the opposite bank was a sheer cliff, I find it difficult to believe any sort of tiger was doing any sort of leaping...

Pictures.

Yunnan Part Two

Pictures of Lijiang are finally up.

Sorry it took so long. More to come immediately.

Yunnan Part One

I just spent a week in Yunnan, eats of Tibet, south of Sichuan, north of Burma, Laos, etc. I'm putting pictures up in installments, cause I have a lot. First I flew to Kunming, then took an overnight sleeper bus to Shangri-la up in the mountains. Kunming was nice and warm, but we drove up hill for 12 hours, and by the time we got to the Tibetan plateau, it was snowing. Great.

For these first few days I was by myself, then met up with Jill and Claire in a town called Lijiang south of Shangri-la. If you're one of those types who likes to look at a map to see what happened, here it is.

Our trip: Kunming--> Shangri-la--> Lijiang --> Tiger Leaping Gorge--> Dali-->Kunming.

Pictures of Shangri-la come first.

bathroom humor

For weeks now, I've been seeing this sign, and I haven't known what it means. There's a small bar we often go to, and in the bathroom, there's a sign that you see as you squat.
It says: 来得匆匆，去得冲冲。

Every time I saw it, I wondered what the hell it said. "Come something something, Go something something." What does 匆匆 and 冲冲 mean??

I finally figured it out: "Come in in a hurry, leave excitedly!" hahahahaha

Chinglish never gets old

PLEASE scope out this hilarious slideshow of China-style terrible translation on everything from hospital sings to T-shirts. It's from a friend's blog. I guarantee you'll laugh.

Nests

Mom, Dad, and other adults who may read this: I apologize in advance if I may offend your sensibilities with this story about drinking, but it's too funny not to share.

Last night I went out with a bunch of friends, had a bunch of drinks, etc etc. Around 2, I guess, I was a mess, so Jill and Joe decided it was time to take me home. Very wise of them. After a lengthy cab ride where I rode with my head out the window like a dog, we got to my apartment, whereupon I found it necessary to fight with them because I wanted to sleep in the stairwell ("Chryssa, it's cold and dirty!" "No! I like it! Don't touch me!") and resist being carried ("Joseph, put me down! Jillian, I will only go upstairs if you accompany me and if Joseph will leave. "). Finally I was in my apartment with Jill, but I wouldn't get into bed ("I wont go in there! You can't make me go in there!" "Chryssa, just go to bed." "No!! I'm too dirty! There's dirt all in my clothes!" (from the stairwell episode)). So it seemed logical for me to sleep on the floor, right?

Now, anyone who knows me knows of my love of nests, little places, and habitats for curling up. What better place to sleep than under the table? It has a protective, cave-like atmosphere under there, and it is cool and dark. So I curled up under the table with all my clothes on. Jill, worn out, decided not to argue, but wanted to give me a pillow ("I don't want it! Don't give that thing to me! I won't take it!" "Chryssa, just take it"--I did-- "Oh, I looooove it! It's so soft!"). Anyway, at some point during the night I got up to get a blanket, and so this is what Eunjee found in the morning:




Her reaction: "What is this?"

"It's a sleeping place."

"Oh," and she went back to bed without a second thought.

Control

Despite the obvious fact that I observe every day the rigidly regimented and conformist nature of this society, it never ceases to surprise me the lengths the government will go to in order to stifle any sort of "unrest." In reality, this "unrest" is what we might refer to as freedom of speech, or the pursuit of justice. For instance, one might seek compensation for property destroyed in a natural disaster, or taken by the state for reasons of imminent domain, etc. One might seek legal dispute resolution, or perhaps protest against corrupt officials in one's hometown. These small issues, when brought before the government in large numbers, are simply too many to handle, and protests of this nature must simply be crushed en masse.

And then, of course, there are issues like separatism in Tibet and Xinjiang, freedom of religion, the Falun Gong, media censorship, etc. These large-scale, high-visibility issues generate many protests, all harshly stifled. For instance, read this article about protests in Tibet in anticipation of the 50-year anniversary of the Dalai Lama going into exile, and the state of martial law that has been imposed in most of Western China. Next, read about the "black jails" that exist in Beijing for the express purpose of illegally and silently detaining any would-be protesters for indefinite lengths of time. Note that these jails generally hold people who are looking to solve small problems. "The party official of our town is extortionist;" "I lost 10 mu of land when the local government decided to build a new dam;" etc. However, the government can't afford to have issues like these raised on are large scale--they are simply too numerous and would crush the system with their weight if all were filed and heard. I think it's most interesting that these detention centers were most robust at the time of the Olympics. It just reinforces the fact that the face China showed the rest of the world during August 2008 truly was a farce, brilliantly organized (to the last detail) and perfectly executed (to the last man--no pun intended). It artfully concealed completely the less appealing aspects of society and the problems boiling just below the surface in this nation of 1.4 billion and rising.

My point is that this is a modern society in so many respects, or at least one that in almost all aspects is rushing to catch up (and surpass) the rest of the world. So it is so baffling and frightening to realize the level of control exerted by the government on everything, great and small, and the absolute powerlessness of the people to act--or even think--out of line.

Reused Condoms="Necessary, Normal, Safe"

Ever thought of collecting used products (bottles, cans, paper, plastics, etc?) and using the material to create new things? Sure, it happens all the time. What about used condoms? In fact, that's just what some business people in Southern China are doing.

Something like this could only happen here and now, in this country so obsessed with making profits off the smallest things, in this country populated by sneaky, cunning business people capable of squeezing a few pennies out of everything, including:

1) dead bodies--have you seen The Bodies exhibit at science museums in the states? Know where they got those bodies? The majority are from China; the government takes people who have received the death penalty, and after executing them, sells their remains.

2) placenta--in Shenzhen it is a traditional (albeit now rather underground) practice to eat placenta. They're supposed to be quite nutritious and have other mystical properties in Chinese medicine. They go for very high prices these days...quite the roaring black market trade.

3) blood--a common practice among the poor in the countryside is to sell blood to earn money, sometimes multiple times a month, to meet fees like tuition, medical bills, etc. The blood is then resold.

4) used condoms--scope out this ridiculous article for the proof.

文化差异 Culture Gaps too Great to Bridge

I'm getting low on cash, due to my extravagant life style over here (kidding about that) so I've decided (against my will and better judgment) to take on a couple students and teach some English classes on the side to earn some money.

Why this seems like a good idea on the surface: 1) money 2) I always waste my Saturdays anyway (mostly due to having been out til 4 or 5 the previous night) so why not force myself to get out of bed and do something productive? 3) chance to get out of Wudaokou where I live and make it downtown.

Why this is, in reality, NOT a good idea:
1) I hate teaching. I am a terrible teacher. If you know me, you will know this is because I am impatient and get annoyed extremely easily. One of the things I hate most in life is dumb people. People who cannot speak my language fall into this category. (Why? Not because they're dumb; they just appear so). Further, why I would be a bad English teacher, in particular, is that I talk really fast, and like to express myself. Getting the words out as rapidly as possible is important to me.
2) I particularly hate children. They are too small, too annoying, and we come back again to the dumb people thing (they may not actually be dumb, but appear so).
3) Getting downtown (that is, anywhere that's not the isolated university district where I live) is an arduous process that normally involves the following: fighting massive crowds on the subway, where it is normally AT LEAST 90 degrees Fahrenheit; getting shoved, trampled, elbowed, jostled, grabbed, and otherwise manhandled while trying to enter or exit subway cars or transfer lines; being crushed in a subway car holding several hundred more bodies than it is designed for, thus feeling less like a sardine and more like a molecule in an aerosol can under extreme pressure; and changing subway lines at least 6 times in order to get anywhere, which normally involves mile-long walks in underground labyrinths that smell like asbestos.
4) The reason I am unproductive on Saturday is that I need a day to recover from schoolwork, speaking Chinese and wanting to have my brain explode, and being out too late and drinking too much.

Needless to say, almost as soon as I began this "teaching" process, I started to regret it. The way it's working is this: I'm using a "broker"-type lady (for lack of a better word) who will set me up with students. The students have money and will pay a pretty high hourly rate; in turn, I'll reimburse this broker lady for setting me up. Fine, sounds good, I'm in.

This past Sunday I met with the two children who will be my students. Obviously, they were dumb (why did I not predict this???). Nothing had been finalized, so we left it open ended, TBD during the week.

Tuesday rolls around. 10 am, I'm in class, and my phone rings. It's "Kelly," the broker (for edification, she's Chinese). I don't answer. It rings again. I don't answer. I get a text. "It's Kelly, please reply." I don't (I'm in class, you'll remember). She proceeds to call and text me incessantly for the next several hours. It's like, HELLO, LADY, I SEE YOUR COMMUNICATION. I WILL REPLY TO YOU AS SOON AS I AM ABLE. IN THE MEANTIME, I THANK YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE.

I don't get a chance to call her til 4:30, by which time I have received at least 20 calls, 8 texts, an email, Skype messages, and messages from Eunjee (my roommate who also works for her) that she's looking for me. Thanks, GOT IT, you want to get in touch with me.

And it's ridiculous, too, because in the end all she wants to say is that everything's been finalized and we're meeting Sunday morning at 9:30. FINE, THAT COULDN'T HAVE WAITED TIL THIS EVENING?!??! No? Well, deal with it. It just did. You calling (did I say calling? I meant harassing) me did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to speed up the process, but did manage to make me mad.

This is standard Chinese practice. There's no voicemail, and it's perfectly fine to pester people til they get back to you. But honestly, she made me want to track her down in her posh apartment and throttle her. I was so infuriated and annoyed I wanted to walk away from the whole thing. Obviously, doing so would just be to my own disadvantage in this case, but just think about the obstacles this type of thing must raise in business world. If I were a businessman (sorry, businesswoman) this sort of thing would turn me off extremely quickly. I'd be tempted to walk away from dealing with certain people or companies if I knew that this was the type of interaction we were forever destined to have. Wow, China, get voicemail, and learn about a little thing called PERSONAL SPACE.

The Way

苦集灭道 (ku ji mie dao)

All life is suffering (suffering = 苦 ku)

The cause of suffering is desire (desire = 集 ji)

Emancipation comes only from eliminating passions (eliminate = 灭 mie)

The Way to Emancipation is the Noble Eight-fold Way (The Way = 道 dao)

put them all together to get "suffering, desire, elimination, The Way" = "苦集灭道"

High code of morality?

The way my classes work is, every night we study a bunch of words, and read and/or listen to a passage containing the words, and then the next day review those words and discuss the content of the text. In class the teacher will ask you to give an example using the desired word, or ask you a pointed question where the only answer you may give will contain that word.

For instance: today we were studying the words "to have a high code" of "morality."

The teacher asked, "What kind of person might have a high code of morality?"

So I answered (and tell me if you think this isn't reasonable): "I think that, ideally, government workers should have a high code of morality."

She looked confused, so I asked if I had said the sentence right. She said, yes, the grammar was correct, but she didn't understand what I meant. "I mean," she said, "what do government workers and morality have to do with one another? I don't think your example is very suitable."

I was speechless for a moment, but then tried to explain that in an ideal world, government workers would try to have a high code of morality because they are responsible for making their country a better place, for instance, upholding the law, implementing new programs for health, education, sanitation, safety, equality, civil rights, etc. Since they have a responsibility towards the taxpayers who, in essence, pay their salaries, and because they care about their country, it would be a good thing if they were moral people, since that would enable them to do their jobs better, make government better, and make their country a better place. No?

Even after my explanation, she didn't really get my logic. I guess here, government officials do not represent the people; they are simply appointed on basis of connections (or maybe merit, in some cases), and so they have no obligation to carry out the peoples' will or to work towards providing the people with better lives. Moreover, corruption is so rampant that maybe it never crossed this teacher's mind that a government official might have a high code of honor and morality.

Just another example of irreconcilable cultural differences.....

Fireworks

Today is the last day of the Chinese New Year...it began on the new moon and since today is the full moon the celebrations are ending. Therefore, it's the last day of revelry and should be properly enjoyed. The Chinese most like to celebrate the New Year by lighting off MASSIVE quantities of fireworks. And I'm not talking firecrackers and bottle rockets here; these things are certifiable bombs. Normally (in the US), one would be required to launch these types of explosives from a barge out in the water, or at the very least in a field a good distance away from the nearest onlookers. However, in Beijing, it is common practice to light off round after round of pretty intense explosives anywhere and everywhere. For instance, a little while ago, I was in my bathroom and a firework exploded about 10 feet from my window. Safe. I can also see plenty of sky rockets and artillery shells (that's what they're really called...Wikipedia it) from my bedroom window....being launched from the street below.

So a constant barrage of fireworks has been going off incessantly since about 5:30 pm. No surprise, then, when we heard this news: a major hotel in Beijing is ablaze and probably many people have been killed. Quite naturally, of course, this is front page NY Times but China official news sources refuse to report on it at all.

Back in the land of the unfree

Wattup guys! Back in Beijing after a wonderful, very busy 3 weeks in the US of A. It turns out that China is not a very nice place, and I don't feel like I want to be here right now. The US has alot of things going for it....I'm contemplating fleeing this scene (not really, but I wish I could).

I'm quite a but plumper now than I was 3 weeks ago (this is what happens when you do nothing but dine on all the most delicious things you can get your hands on for 21 days straight) and so looking forward to my normal routine of 1) not eating much around here because things are not appetizing enough to warrant consumption except under circumstances of extreme hunger and 2) going to the gym a lot to break the incredibly monotonous and wearing daily grind of memorizing hundreds of vocab words and making sentences with them.

That's all for now...more soon, I promise!

The Chairman

Chairman Mao ("mao" tone 2) and Chairman Cat ("mao" tone 1) sound almost the same in Chinese....a barely distinguishable difference in pronunciation. Ha.