China, kingdom of rip-offs. Bootlegged Harry Potter comes in all sorts of guises (often paired with hobbbits) to save the day and make big bucks for the ingenious author.
Some of my favorites from this choice list of eleven:
1) "Harry Potter and the Leopard Walk-Up-To Dragon", an excerpt:
There was a hobbit, who didn't even know how to return home. He lived in a hole in the ground, and didn't know where he came from or where he was going to. He even didn't know why he had become a hobbit. This was Hogwartz School of Witchcraft and Wizardry 5th year apprentice Harry Potter.
...
After Gandolf left, the five of them rode their brooms, travelling with the wind. Trees and cars along the roads below receded. Only when they encountered the occasional passenger jet, the pilot and passengers would cry out, "Hey! Flying people!", or "Hey! Aliens!"
2) "Harry Potter and the Chinese Porcelain Doll." The plot goes something like this:
Voldemort reaches out to his Chinese counterpart and protege, Yandomort, for help fighting Harry. Harry needs to go to China to track down the Chinese Porcelain Doll, which could stop Yandomort. Seems like a stupid anti-evil trinket, but, then again, so was the sorcerer's stone.
As Harry travels to China, he befriends some Chinese circus acrobats who knew Yandomort back when he was a kid -- named (literally translated from Chinese) Naughty Bubble. Turns out Voldemort killed Naughty Bubble's mom, who was named (literally translated from Chinese) Big Spinach, then took the kid under his wing and made him evil.
Can Harry and the Chinese acrobats find the doll in time to stop the 'Morts?
3) "Harry Potter and the Filler of Big." This is creative:
Harry leaves the Dursleys after a rough summer where Dudley was shacking up with a belly dancer. (I think perhaps the author here misinterpreted all of Rowling's comments about Dudley's rotund belly and came to believe that he was in love with a stripper.)
Before he goes, Bat Bug (I'm assuming that's China's interpretation of Dobby) tells him there's trouble waiting at Hogwarts. And there is: All of the students keep transforming into wooden stools. Offffff course they do.
It's up to Harry to solve the mystery and he has but four suspects: An evil student... Hagrid's gone rogue... Voldemort's shadow has returned... or, worst of all, it has something to do with the Filler of Big (aka the Big Funnel).
Wait, what? WHAT EXACTLY IS A BIG FUNNEL?!?!
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