"Aliens" in China on a non-tourist visa are required to register for a permanent residence permit (sort of like getting your green card). You have 30 days to do this before your visa expires. In order to register, you must submit to a health examination to check that you are in good health and aren't bringing any dangerous diseases or conditions to the Chinese populace, which according to the government, is completely devoid of things like AIDS and STDs, of course. Additionally, you must register at your local police station and obtain a temporary residence permit, just so they have you on record, or something. So those things are time-consuming and inconvenient, so about 2 weeks ago I finally got them all sorted out. So then, the next step (apparently) was to go to the Tsinghua University Foreign Student's Office, where they can help you start your visa registration process. The way this office works is as follows: Doors open at "9 am." This actually means 9:30 or 9:45, whenever somebody feels like it. Therefore, around 7:30 am, people start to amass outside the doors. When they open, there is a crazed rush to the desks. Running, pushing, shouting, shoving things in peoples faces, climbing over the desk and chairs to be closer to the workers--all permissible.
So after I had been to this office several times, I thought I had successfully started my registration process. At least, I had a little piece of paper that said because I had started it before the day my visa expired, I was fine. OR SO I THOUGHT!!
They kept telling me to come back every few days to do some other piece of the process, so yesterday when I when back, they told me there was no way they could help me because my visa had expired.
Well, no shit my visa is expired! I fucking KNOW that, and that is why I have been here FIVE TIMES THIS WEEK. Maybe if your office had any SEMBLANCE of organization or efficiency, you wouldn't have LOST ME, and i wouldn't be an ILLEGAL ALIEN.
So now I'm told I have to go to my local police station, obtain a new temporary residence permit, then go to the city Public Security Bureau and register. It's 3 pm on a Sunday, everything closes at 5 pm, and then there is a week-long holiday. F-ing great.
Go to the local police station, hand over my passport and previous registration, which is ripped up. A new one is printed and stamped. "Can I have that, please? I need to go to the Public Security Bureau."
"No. You need to go to the somewhere somewhere and do the something something."
"I don't know what that is."
"You know, the somewheresomewhere. For the something."
"Um....but I was told I need to go to the PSB."
"No. The something."
By now I'm in tears, I have no idea what's going on, nobody speaks a word of English, I have an expired visa, and my passport has been confiscated, and I can't have it back. So then I try to leave and am told I can't. Oh-kaaaaaaay.
"Wait a little."
Having no other option, I wait two hours until the office closes. Then I'm told to go outside, where there is a police car waiting for me. My passport is handed to me through a window with bars, I'm told to give it to the police officer in the car, and then get in.
"Get in?"
"Get in."
They were being nice about it; everybody was smiling, but since I wasn't in on the joke, I didn't think it was all that hilarious.
30 minutes later, I'm delivered to the Haidian district police headquarters and led through a rat maze to an office,--"this is the crying foreigner"--where a really nice police officer talks with me, and then--this is the BEST PART--forces me to write a self criticism of why I allowed my visa to expire, and apologize. IN CHINESE.
"Statement for Overdue Stay: (You are required to state in detail reasons and responsibilities for your overdue stay in China as well as your attitude toward the penalties.)"
So I wrote out my little story, and then the guy told me to add at the end: "I know I am wrong, and I am very sorry. I am willing to accept the punishment."
Then, I was given a transcript of a supposed "interview" (let's call it an "interrogation") that this police officer did with me, where I admitted who I was, what I had done, and why, and told to sign it.
haHA! I love it. Then I was allowed to leave, and told to come back Oct 6, after the holiday. I don't know what will happen then. Probably "accept the punishment."
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