Wow!

Nobel Peace Prize Given to Jailed Chinese Dissident

Now, the next question: does the Chinese government give a what about things like this? Pretty strong statement by the international community but I don't know if China cares enough yet about these types of pressures.

Vice Guide to North Korea

watch it!

oooo I want to go so bad!

Hungover Owls

Apparently if you are a young foreigner living in China these days, you are doomed. You will be forever relegated to one of the following classes, condemned to be identified by your varying degrees of stupidity, ignorance, and arrogance until the day you (finally) decide to do what you've been meant to do all along: get on a plane and get the hell out of here.

Thanks to GoChengdoo, here are the eight profiles, and I promise, if you live in China, they'll make you feel like shit.

See if you can guess which one I am (hint: there is only one "woman" option).

THE ROAMING ARTIST

Moved here to experience another culture or get away from culture i.g.. Dabbles (some more seriously than others) in some sort of arts, usually photography, painting, or, most often, music, with which he/she tries to make a living but when that fails turns to part-time English teaching. Loves—loves—freebies. Identify them by their dreadlocks and odd mash-up of cheap Communist slippers and folk apparel combined with tattered jeans and dress shirts.

Might become: wannabe businessperson, the China Expert, the Lifetime TEFLer
Might hear them say: 给我便宜点儿吧！
Common complaints: I am broke. Pay is too low. Nobody appreciates my talents.
Keywords: DJ, musician, singer, writer, painter, model, actor, photographer, designer

THE WANNABE BUSINESSPERSON
Also sometimes referred to as "halfpat." The guy (or gal) who came to China to take a look and ended up settling down for a while. After sucking up the maximum number of visa extensions as a student of Mandarin or sucking out all his/her willpower as a foreign teacher, becomes convinced he or she is "capable of better." Years of struggling might make them bitter and unable to fully integrate into society. Gives the locals reason to doubt foreigners' ability to do business.
Might have been or still be: the Roaming Artist, the China Expert, Lifetime TEFLer
Might hear them say: 你有没有名片？这儿是我的。
Common complaints: I got ripped off by my Chinese partner. "They" don't know how to do business.
Keywords: profit margin, strategic partnership, 1.4 billion customers

THE CHINA EXPERT
Knows everything about China; might have a degree in Mandarin or Chinese studies. Probably studied abroad in Beijing for a year before settling in China. Enthusiastically offers translation services to anybody who'll take them. Refuses to speak to locals in any language but Chinese but gets extremely upset when he/she realizes that "being fully accepted" is a pipe dream. The most hardcore enroll in a master's program at Sichuan University and attend classes with the local students. Delights in eating intestines, rabbit head, duck bill, brains, and anything else Westerners find weird or repulsive, especially when in the company of said Westerners—whose company he/she usually shuns anyway on the quest for total immersion. Lives with his wife-to-be in a one-bedroom apartment somewhere nobody else lives and even local taxi drivers haven't heard of.
Aspires to be: the Wannabe Businessperson
Might hear them say: 当然听的懂！学中文学得很久！
Common complaints: Chinese people won't speak to me in Chinese. I'll never be fully accepted!
Keywords: young white male, Asian studies

THE LONELY WESTERN WOMAN
Has written off locals as potential romantic partners for any of a number of reasons. In early phases, tends to throw herself rather unscrupulously at any foreign male who shows the slightest interest. Eventually becomes bitter and jaded, resenting Chinese women for "taking all the men," Western men for "how easy" they have it, and while they're at it, everybody else on this goddamn planet too. Complaints might be compounded by chronic yeast infections as well as the lack of clothes and shoes in her size. Often derided by insecure male counterparts as being "unfeminine" and "fat" compared to Chinese women. Lives with her best friend in a two-bedroom apartment next to their favorite bar. Is possibly middle-aged, with an adopted Chinese daughter in tow.
Common complaints: Foreign men in China suck. Men here only want to have one-night stands.
Keywords: perpetually single, underwhelmed by options, bar, club, bitter, jaded

THE EXPAT FAMILY
The expat family is in a class all its own, with very little crossover from the other foreign riffraff. This category comes as a package that almost always comprises a man with his wife and kids in tow, although there have been a few cases of expat women with "trailing husbands." Usually middle-class in their home country, arrives in China on a nice "compensation" package and can suddenly live like kings, sending the hired help to buy kitchen staples at Sabrina's and Metro. Penchant for taking group field trips to places deemed too "local," i.e., any place that's not IKEA. Uses the adjective "Chinese" as a catch-all code for something completely alien and probably displeasing to them, as in, "Such-and-such place is so Chinese." Generally only spotted at Peterpan or Bookworm, or, for a wild night out on the town, Shamrock. The young ones tend to stay in a bubble as well but, with Mandarin courses at their $20,000-per-year schools, do usually pick up Chinese faster than their parents.
Might hear them say: 听不懂。
Common complaints: I can't find [insert name of Western product] here. That's China! I'm having a 'bad China day.'
Keywords: multinational corporation, manager, stay-at-home mom, imported goods section

THE STUDY-ABROAD STUDENT
Spends weekends with classmates at Shuangnan or Taiping Nan Jie, skimming all the free alcohol they can get by cozying up to some drunk wealthy-looking locals and ganbei-ing umpteen times. Might wake up for those 8 a.m. classes ... and then again, might not. Dinner is McDonald's or Tex-Mex on delivery. Usually is either funded by his/her over-moneyed European nation or has managed to finagle out a scholarship from some government or from mom and dad's savings accounts. Initially lives in the dorms until he or she realizes what a rip-off on-campus accommodations are, but by then it's too late. At the end of the semester generally has very little language skill to show for six months other than a few choice samples generally not spoken in polite company, and then it's time to travel and then go back home anyway.
Might hear them say: 我很喜欢中国！每个东西都很便宜！
Common complaints: The classes are so boring. The teachers don't know how to teach.
Keywords: school, Chuanda, Xinan Minzu, sleeping in class, rage against the textbook

THE LIFETIME TEFL TRAVELER
Ostensibly came to China via Japan or Korea to experience another culture but got caught up in the cheap beer and pretty women. Might have ended up marrying a local, or might be plotting a next stop in another (Asian) country. May or may not have any teaching qualification whatsoever (and even then, a TEFL/CELTA certificate requires only four weeks.) With rare exceptions, the lifetime TEFL traveler is almost always male. There is gender discrimination here: Female lifetime TEFLers might be looked at as independent, courageous souls, while their male counterparts are generally just thought of as duds. Their salaries, often based on a handful of superficial "qualifications," tend to make locals green with envy.
Aspires to be: wannabe businessperson
Might already be: amateur Sinologist
Might hear them say: 再来一瓶啤酒！冰的！
Common complaints: My beer's warm. My students cheat. My school did not fulfill its contractual obligations. Life is too easy.
Keywords: head shot, CV, two letters of reference, diploma, but most importantly, head shot

THE XBC
These are the ABCs, BBCs, CBCs (American or Australian, British, and Canadian-born Chinese), etc. who cause confusion everywhere they go. When white foreigners get utmost praise from locals for uttering a clumsy "Ni hao," the XBC gets "Why's your Chinese so bad?" and, conversely, "How's your English so good?" from other foreigners. Is either the envy of the foreign community for growing up bilingual and being able to "blend in" or is pitied for taking all the flak and not reaping any of the benefits of the "star treatment" a foreigners in China have been known to be on the receiving end of. Makes Chinese ponder the deep philosophy behind the question, "What is Chinese?"
Might hear them say: 我是华侨,没有在这儿长大！
Common complaints: Why do the waitresses always look at me to order?
Keywords: confused, in between, what do you call them anyway?

Guys, I've found you the answer

Is your girlfriend too annoying, how she always, like, needs stuff, and wants to talk? Don't worry, now you can just have a virtual girlfriend (however, she's still capable of the silent treatment when you do something wrong) on whom you can spend big bucks and with whom you can carry on basic conversations (the more basic, the better, anyway, with women) and even go away on vacation--all for the reward of an easy, simplistic "romance" that will keep you satisfied.

The perfect solution---now you never have to actually ever deal with a real girl again, because they're annoying and dumb anyway. Something virtual is just as dumb (dumber?), perpetually pretty, doesn't talk back, and you only have to put in as much effort as you want, and she'll never break up with you. And if she does, who cares, just get a new one.

Great. Typical.

Did I mention this is actually a real thing that Japanese men pay a lot of money for and spend a lot of time on? Oh and the part about the vacations is 100% true too.

In Hong Kong.

Flew to Shenzhen this morning, and took the bus over to Hong Kong for a weekend visa run/see friends.

Beijing was smoggy (HUGE SURPRISE) and you could barely see anything as we flew out, so I closed the shade and promptly fell asleep for 2 hours despite the massive coffee I had guzzled not 15 minutes before stepping on board the plane.

30 minutes before landing in SZ, I woke up and opened the shade again to the bluest blue sky and the tallest, whitest cream-puff clouds ever seen. It was diamond-bright soaring along in that sea of sunshine with the patterned clouds spread below us.

But then, flying lower, a paper-thin layer of dark grey matter became visible at the level of the tops of the cumulus clouds. Pollution, marring this beautiful cloudscape! Worse still, once we came lower and flew through that awful gunk, it became clear that in and among the white of the clouds were pockets of yellow-brown smog lurking, brewing, smearing the clearness of the air with a gloomy, glum tinge of grime. Once we had flown even lower than that, below the clouds, we entered the TRUE pollution, an almost imperceptible mist of yellowish, whitish, grayish particles hovering just over the Earth that obscured the ground and, once on the ground, obscured the sky.

So beautiful up above, so oppressive down below!

Anyways, bus to HK--HK is lovely--air quality not so bad once away from industrial Shenzhen. What a refreshing change from awful, crowded, dirty, cement Beijing. Feels so civilized and cosmopolitan here in comparison.

Tomorrow, sailing around the New Territories. There may just be a God.

Workers use bare hands to clean up oil spill

Everyone's all over the US for the Gulf Oil spill (as well they should be) but when similar horrible environment catastrophes occur in China, nobody even hears about it or cares. Bet you haven't seen these pictures of the recent oil spill in Dalian (NE coastal China), have you?

Because it's not just environmentally horrifying but socially as well.

Gated migrant communities in major Chinese cities

Keeping dangerous elements away from the rest of the civilized population

Do you know that China spends as much on "public security" as it does on national defense?



What does that say? That it has to protect citizens from themselves (or the government from citizens?) just as much as it has to protect the nation as a whole from outside enemies? Who is the REAL enemy here?

Another good name: Mariel says that through work, she has recently been in touch with someone at the Ministry of Commerce, and the woman's name is Fancy Hou (yup, that's pronounced ho).

What's for dinner?

Seasons

by Sinmay Zau

First time I saw you, you gave me your heart; and inside it there was

a spring morning. Second time I saw you, you gave me your words, but

unspeakable was the raging fire of summer. Third time I saw you, you
gave me your hand; inside it you held the leaf-fallen deep autumn.
Last time I saw you was my short dream; in it was you and a flock of
winter wind, too.

Watching the World Cup Outside on the Street

Ridic

I had some time on my hands at work a while back and went to familiarize myself with the employee database (there's over 2,300 people in our Beijing branch alone). My initial intent was to scope out how many foreigners work here, and who they are, and if I can meet them. Lost track of that goal after a bit (and there are hardly any anyway), but did light upon another FINE discovery: hilarious English names. Chinese business culture has hit upon the (in my view) odd custom of having everyone chose an English name and use that professionally. Not only on business cards, in emails, and at meetings, but between colleagues at the office, which I find weird. Especially when people choose names that are really difficult for a Chinese speaker to say, and then ask everyone to call them that. But anyway, looking at this whole long list of English names, I saw some funny, funny examples. It was so much fun I took a look at some of our company's other offices around China, too--with similarly hysterical results.

In general, people were pretty good about picking their names. Most ended up with pretty generic, if somewhat outdated or bizarre, English pseudonyms.

Guys fared pretty well (James, Phillip, Frank, Jerry), but some of the girls went astray. A lot ended up with names that were perfectly fine but a little antiquated, like Dorothy, Mavis, Betty, and Agnes. There was a propensity for really odd names—sure, they're names, but we have certain cultural associations with them, or they just aren’t used very often. There were numerous Scarletts, many Fionas and Sophias, plentyyyy of Candys, Selinas, Stellas, Cissys, and tons and tons of Crystals. For some reason, Ramona was also popular, and then, my personal favorite—there were at least thirty Yolandas.

I also liked Bonita, Teresita, Saggita, and Queena.

A couple guys reached way back and picked Ignatius and Crassus. I'm pretty sure there hasn't been anybody named either of these things since the fall of the Roman empire.

Not sure what Geejohn was going for....Bijon? Also, for the fifty or so people named Kelvin, did you mean Kevin, or Calvin? Or just not Celsius and Fahrenheit?

Everyone should know that a new office-themed porno is being released starring Kiki, Desire, Cherry, Ivory Wang, Pearl, Cloris, Hyman, and Kinky. Not kidding.

A lot of people appeared to think that English names consisted of a random collection of letters, usually with a Y at the end, and proceeded to make up names as they felt like it. This list included: Prispan, Hiddy, Nash, Wisler, Welly, Slonly, Hingis (a combination of Ghengis and Haggis?), Eleantly (were you going for elegantly? Still not a name), Licco, Harsha, Hedy, Meky, Serney, Ancy (ansty?), Paky, Simmy, Spethen, Velitte, Zuzu AND Zizi (my friend informs me this is slang for dick in French), Jussi (Juicy?), Dawa, Pelson, Retty (Ratty?), Evilyt (what? How do you even say that?), Yuly, Lundy, Cicky (is this pronounced Sicky? Kicky?), Inez, Sinky, Sgy (again, completely unpronounceable--how do they introduce themself?), Schumy, Scort (Skort?), Jerress, and Pheemarn. We come at last to the very best ones, in my opinion: Sweetot, Smallroson (what?! how did you even come up with that?), Loof, and--finally--Riddick. Forgive me, but there's really no way to describe that except as, well, ridic.

Waterling and Wakeman sound like people I should have heard of--celebrities, perhaps--but no, again, made up.

A few tried to make themselves sound sophisticated and European, but failed: Auberon, Kunthea, Jacinle, Fionnuala, and Ucifer, as well as Horitio and Fandica (in-the-flesh Spaniards, obviously), Latherihe (is that Dutch?), Enphiere and Mercharlain (French, perhaps?), and Yesky (Polish?).

I really don't know what the person who named himself Eazzy was thinking, and I can't fathom "Duff", either--were you going for the dessert, or like, old duffer? Neither is flattering.

Some people (men, I'm assuming) wanted to show how powerful and impressive they are. These guys included Ranger, Knight, Saint, Prince, Baron, Kaiser, and Caesar (all first names, of course). Lux and Rich stayed on this vein, too--aspiring Sugar Daddy's.

Some people chose names of celebrities. These included Shania, Demi, Coco, Enya, Ringo, Garfield, Homer and Simpson, Hanks, Kobe, and Federer (yes, all first names).

Then we come to the best group of all, people who chose real words that ARE NOT NAMES and used them as their first name.

There were a lot inspired by nature.
For plants, there was Jungle, Leaf, seven Forests, many Floras, as well as plenty of the following: Iris, Daisy, Lily, Violet, Ivy, Holly, Rosemary, Jasmine--ok, so far, so good, all are actually real names--and then, Apple, Minty, Berry, Fuchsia, Cherry, Willow, Hazel, Lotus, Celery, Dandelion, Maple, Olive, Basil, Hyacinth, and Carnation. Most of those are NOT names known to the English speaking world.
On the fauna side, I noted Swan, Swallow, Snake, Fish, Whale (yup, I know), Kitty, Cat, Lion, and finally, Dingo. YES. "Hello, I'm Snake Chen, and this is my colleague, Dingo Li."

There were two Seasons, an Autumn, a Winter, a Spring, and many Summers, Aprils, Mays, Junes, and an August. We went meteorological, too, with Astro, Cosmo, Windy, Sunny, Sky, Rain, and Haze, and then did some astronomy with Lunar, Mercury, Mars (4 of them!) and Pluto. Turning Greek from Roman, I saw an Apollo, several Athenas, and an Aries.

Next, some people chose to delve into geology, with names like: Rocky, Stone, Ruby, Amber and Jade.

Others turned to the sea: believe it or not, there were TWO people named Aegean, an Aqua, an Ocean, several Seals, three Ariels, the aforementioned Fish and Whale, a number of Corals, and a Coraly (again, adding a Y to any word or group of letter does NOT make it a name, people!).

Some people tried to describe themselves, ineptly: Shiny, Sparkle, Bright, Ace, Peppy, Dancy, Blondy, Teenie (for your sake, I hope you are a girl, not a guy!), Jumbo (definitely a guy), Driven, Constant, Wisdom, and Smilee.

We had a Winna, and a Balla.

To the people who chose Pinky, Purple, White, Red and Grey--come on, that's just not creative enough.

I was utterly perplexed by names like Deck, Wood, Pence, and Tassel, as well as Locke, Arrow, Ferry, Jelly, River, Derby, Health (two people were named this!), and Cycle. There was a Saver (really baffling), as well as two Sevens (why not Six, or Eight?) and a Tenth (the tenth WHAT?).

Also confusing were names that conveyed an activity, like Dash, Squall, Calling, Sailing, and Dreaming. Kite and Yoyo aren't names either, sorry, although they are fun. Ditto for Ices and Snow. And while Sunday is a nice day of the week, it, too, is not appropriate nomenclature for a person.

There were a lot of Melody's (fine)--but apparently someone named Tunes got mixed up and picked the wrong translation. Maybe that's the derivation of Chord, too?

I hope Coffee Tian and Cream Zhou work together--they sound quite complementary.

Someone named Cabernet should be careful not to come drunk to the office.

Conjunctions cannot be used as names, Even, nor can adverbs, Hence.

Some people made themselves sound intriguing and mysterious, like Cipher, Quest, and Vagary (how long did you have to search in the dictionary to come up with that word?). Others just came off as boring, like Silence, Vanilla, Lackie, Worry, Mirror, and Echo, of which I counted twelve.

Phoenix and Tiger were just too cliché for my taste.

Meanwhile, Eden, Angel (more than 10 of them) and Fairy (hopefully a girl, not a guy, again) sounded like heavenly additions to any company.

Somebody really went for it and named himself Brain. Another person with an over-inflated ego called him or herself Miracle, while not one but TWO people chose Godspeed, and another, Starlet. And finally, somebody took the plunge: Rambo.

Now for my top five favorites:

5) Icestream. I want to meet this fellow and get his business card. Imagine walking into a meeting and introducing yourself as Icestream? Bet he doesn't actually go to many meetings.

4) I know I already mentioned it in relation to the porno, but really, Kinky is priceless. "Hi, it's nice to meet you. I'm Kinky. Shall we go into the conference room?"

3) Dingo, too, been said, but COME ON. Dingo. (Whale was pretty good, too).

2) Sucker. Yes, someone was actually dumb enough to name themselves Sucker.

1) SINNER. Amazing.

Stand-out Chinese Name of the Day

Say hello to Hu Deman, a writer from China Daily, who wins the prize today for Best Name I've Seen in a Long While.

Have a good laugh

Strange Signs from Abroad from NYT

Seriously hilarious

11 Amazing Fake Harry Potter Books Written in China

China, kingdom of rip-offs. Bootlegged Harry Potter comes in all sorts of guises (often paired with hobbbits) to save the day and make big bucks for the ingenious author.

Some of my favorites from this choice list of eleven:

1) "Harry Potter and the Leopard Walk-Up-To Dragon", an excerpt:
There was a hobbit, who didn't even know how to return home. He lived in a hole in the ground, and didn't know where he came from or where he was going to. He even didn't know why he had become a hobbit. This was Hogwartz School of Witchcraft and Wizardry 5th year apprentice Harry Potter.
...
After Gandolf left, the five of them rode their brooms, travelling with the wind. Trees and cars along the roads below receded. Only when they encountered the occasional passenger jet, the pilot and passengers would cry out, "Hey! Flying people!", or "Hey! Aliens!"

2) "Harry Potter and the Chinese Porcelain Doll." The plot goes something like this:
Voldemort reaches out to his Chinese counterpart and protege, Yandomort, for help fighting Harry. Harry needs to go to China to track down the Chinese Porcelain Doll, which could stop Yandomort. Seems like a stupid anti-evil trinket, but, then again, so was the sorcerer's stone.

As Harry travels to China, he befriends some Chinese circus acrobats who knew Yandomort back when he was a kid -- named (literally translated from Chinese) Naughty Bubble. Turns out Voldemort killed Naughty Bubble's mom, who was named (literally translated from Chinese) Big Spinach, then took the kid under his wing and made him evil.

Can Harry and the Chinese acrobats find the doll in time to stop the 'Morts?

3) "Harry Potter and the Filler of Big." This is creative:
Harry leaves the Dursleys after a rough summer where Dudley was shacking up with a belly dancer. (I think perhaps the author here misinterpreted all of Rowling's comments about Dudley's rotund belly and came to believe that he was in love with a stripper.)

Before he goes, Bat Bug (I'm assuming that's China's interpretation of Dobby) tells him there's trouble waiting at Hogwarts. And there is: All of the students keep transforming into wooden stools. Offffff course they do.

It's up to Harry to solve the mystery and he has but four suspects: An evil student... Hagrid's gone rogue... Voldemort's shadow has returned... or, worst of all, it has something to do with the Filler of Big (aka the Big Funnel).

Wait, what? WHAT EXACTLY IS A BIG FUNNEL?!?!

Our Face

My friend Jill works at a great art gallery (that shall remain nameless in this space, just to be careful) in one of the major art districts here in Beijing, called Caochangdi. Well, it's kind of THE major art district--as the other is much more developed and tourist-a-fied. Caochangdi lies at the outskirts of Beijing and is actually a communist-era village, with artists' studios and galleries interspersed into a working-class community. The area used to be agricultural but has since been absorbed into the ever-expanding giant that is the capital city.

Recently, Caochangdi put on a major photography festival, Caochangdi PhotoSpring, in conjunction with Arles photo festival. The festival gathered artists from Asia, America, and Europe, and is showing their work through June. Some of the work, particularly that by Chinese artists, can be quite inflammatory and politically sensitive, definitely pushing the envelope culturally. The government always worries about subversive types and activists, who are especially dangerous when they congregate in GROUPS. Thus something like a FESTIVAL which allows many subversives to GATHER TOGETHER and to FORM NETWORKS, not to mention DISCUSS SENSITIVE TOPICS and DISPLAY SENSITIVE IMAGES as a way to DISSEMINATE REVOLUTIONARY IDEAS, is quite threatening.

Therefore, the government had a few things to say about the festival, and did a number of not-so-subtle things to attempt to delay or mar the exhibition, including sending police to threaten some of the gallery owners, delaying or denying the necessary permits and paperwork, refusing to allow overseas artwork (particularly from Japan--mortal enemy No. 1) to enter the country for the festival, and threatening to demolish sections (or even all) of the village of Caochangdi after the festival concludes.

This last is particularly worrisome as many of these artists and galleries have invested a lifetime's worth of savings into the spaces that they have developed in this wonderful, creative village of Caochangdi. If the village is ripped down as a political statement/warning to those who are outspoken, or to make way for new development as part of the government's urban planning efforts, Beijing will lose a vital piece of its contemporary culture and social voice, at least temporarily.*

Anyway, overall, the photo festival was really neat. If you are in Beijing, check it out! One particularly interesting artist who has work on exhibit there is Ken Kitano, a Japanese photographer who is exhibiting a project called Our Face. He's traveled around the world taking pictures of individuals who all belong to a similar group (race, class, profession, etc). Then, he layers the negatives one on top of another, until dozens, even hundreds, of peoples' faces lie one over the other. The effect is remarkably cohesive and striking, while also ghostlike and ethereal. I never would have guessed that we all look so much the same! It's cool-check it out!



*If you are interested in helping to protect Caochangdi by signing a petition against demolition, email me.

Chinglish

It never stops being funny. I mean, I guarantee this is how I sound every day when I speak Chinese, so I don't feel too bad about having a couple laughs over somebody's mangled English vocab and usage.

Shrieking Eels

Think crazy shit happens when you drink with your friends? I guarantee it's not this out of control. Scope it...if you're ready to be HORRIFIED.

NYT article: I was hacked in BJ

Concerned about your internet security in China? I'd always kind of brushed it off before--what would they want with me? I don't have anything interesting or provoking to say anyway--but maybe we should all give it another thought. Especially if you ARE saying something provocative.

Love Hotels

Which would you choose for an exciting one night stand?

Camping on the Great Wall

Outside of Beijing, there are a number of easily-accessible sections of the Great Wall that are un-restored. Technically, you're not supposed to go on them, I guess, but plenty of people are interested in climbing around up there seeing what it's like. On the weekend we went, it was downright crowded--mostly with Chinese hikers, decked out in brand-new "gear," although a fair number of foreigners too.

The section we went to was near a town called Jiankou, and it's apparently one of the more dilapidated sections. Large portions of it--especially steep stairways or sections built on narrow ridges--were crumbling away entirely, making for some dangerous scrambling and imminent risk of rock-slides.

We took a bus to the village of Jiankou in the evening and hiked up to the wall (about an hour's hike uphill) to find a place to sleep before the sun went down. We knew it would be cold, and we only had one sleeping bag and two fleece "blankets" between the two of us, but we figured we'd be ok. We wanted to find an old guard house or watch tower to sleep in to get out of the wind. When we got up there, it was a little creepy--the wall is falling apart, especially the guard towers, and there were great black ravens wheeling about in the sky, flocking around the old, ruined towers and crying out ominously. We hiked for 45 mins away from some other groups of campers then settled in to a small tower to have dinner and spend the night. As soon as it got dark, two things happened: it got COLD, and it got SCARY.

More details on the adventure in the pictures.

The next day we hiked for 8 hours or so then scrambled down the hillside to a village mid-afternoon and found a bus back to BJ.

weekend "countryside" adventure

Last weekend Ali and I decided to "get out of the city" and take the subway as far as we could in any direction. We chose the southeast corner of the city and rode Line 1 as far as it goes eastwards, out to where nobody lives. And by nobody, I mean actually a lot of people live there, and the area is under rapid development, but it wasn't QUITE so urban as Beijing proper.We were hoping, misguidedly, for a bit of a "rural" feel, but what we got was less that and more of a barren wasteland feel. There were a number of old factories out there, still chugging away and pumping out noxious fumes, as well as some clusters of village-style homes. However, most of the area was either occupied by very-recently built high-rises, or by vast tracts of dirt where construction of more high-rises was underway. In general it was pretty polluted, especially the water, and overall seemed pretty grim. We just wandered around for a few hours, ate a pineapple, got shouted HELLO at a bunch, then got the train back to the city.

This weekend we're planning to go a bit further afield, and are heading out to hike and camp on unrestored sections of the Great Wall.


Heading home


On the wrong side of the tracks, apparently


Building apartments....more new apartments in the background...no people in sight....real estate bubble, anyone?


and even MORE....


People fishing in the most grimy, scummy, sludgy green pool of filth that has ever been called a pond and harbored fish. Fishing at the edge of a construction site in a toxic puddle wouldn't be my idea of a good time or an appetizing meal later on should you be successful. Environmental Education = necessary, please.

Cellphone Etiquette

A cool thing about China is that cellphones are ubiquitous, but no real concept of cellphone etiquette has developed along with the advent and rapid popularization of the technology. For instance, it is perfectly acceptable to pull out one's cellphone and answer a call during a business meeting. Moreover, Chinese people tend to shout when talking on their cellphones (you're far away form the person you're speaking with! must ensure they can hear you!), so it's not unusual to be in a meeting, conference, restaurant, coffee shop, or public space and have the guy next to you shouting ANNOYINGLY about some really mundane topic. Really, dude, really? Do you REALLY think the rest of us want to listen to what you have to say? You couldn't screen the call? You couldn't call him back? You couldn't take the call outside?

My ABSOLUTE FAVORITE, though, hands down, is the use of cellphones in restrooms. I can't tell you how many times I've come into a public bathroom and there's a girl in a stall, on the toilet, having a LENGTHY conversation with a friend. I cant think of a MORE uncomfortable place to have a phone conversation! Public bathrooms are GROSS; normally the aim is to get in and get out as fast as humanly possible. And it's not like these girls are on the toilet, get an important call, answer it and are like, I'll call you right back. No, they take their time--relaxing, chatting, laughing, etc. UM do you NOT think the caller MIGHT be uncomfortable if s/he knew you were sitting on the CAN?

Confessions of a Pick-Up Artist

If you attend Master Pickup Artist RedpoleQ's "Approach Mastery Boot Camp" and learn to utilize his Five Phase Cycle, you too can have "success" on your first date 80% of the time. "Once you’re adept at using the system, you can pick up a girl in four or five hours. If I meet a girl during the day and get four phases -- about thirty minutes -- in, I close four out of five times."

According to him, "women are pretty good at being women, and that when men learn how to be men then most problems would be eliminated. Obviously, this isn't entirely true, but since men are responsible for leading the relationship I think its best to focus on them." As for girls, "do your best to look your best. I know it's tough and it's unfair, but you never know when you're going to meet "that guy," so be ready."

awesome. good to know that's what's important in life.

Malaysia, Truly Asia

Finally, pictures from Malaysia are up. I was there for 10 days over the Chinese New Year. Sorry it took me so long!

Pretty cool trip. Traveling in a Muslim country was interesting, especially with regard to the role of women. However, most annoying not to be able to procure tasty & intoxicating beverages!

Brother Sharp

A handsome Chinese beggar/vagabond has attracted widespread attention in Ningbo for being on the cutting edge of fashion. The blogosphere is on fire with pictures and reported "sightings" of "Brother Sharp" sporting his "homeless chic" wardrobe. Apparently his creativity with clothing brings "bohemian" to whole new level. He can't be approached, however, because he is somewhat unstable and/or deranged.

Regarding "homeless chic," super model Erin Wasson says eloquently: "When I... see the homeless, like, I'm like, 'Oh my God, they're pulling out, like, crazy looks and they, like, pull shit out of like garbage cans.'"

Why bother to run a marathon if you're going to cheat?

At least 30 participants in the Xiamen marathon in China were disqualified for having used the equivalent of "stunt doubles" to run the race for them or for having done part of the race by bus. Thanks to these unorthodox methods that the 30 cheaters finished among the first 100, said the Bureau of Sports of the southern province of Fujian.

Students participating in the Xiamen International Marathon who do well in the race could earn valuable points for the highly selective "gaokao" entrance exam to university (the sole determinant of admission). So, I guess there's plenty of incentive to cheat...but seriously?? Just a mark of how much pressure people are under to get into school--they'll do anything for a few points' boost on their test score.

Some 50,000 marathon runners started the race. Organizers have announced that they will strengthen the checks next year.

Dwarfs

Only in China would somebody create an amusement park that features only dwarfs. Dwarfs are recruited to work at the park (kind of like a combination Disney land/Plymouth Plantation/freak show) and tourists can come and take pictures of them in their tiny "houses," using their tiny tools, doing tiny people things, or putting on performances.

The proprietor insists the dwarfs are "happy" because they are employed (might have trouble finding a job otherwise), and are around other people like themselves in an environment built for tiny people.

Tibetan Sky Burial

I don't know that this is quite so common anymore (globalization/civilization of the barbarians having had its proper effect) but certainly at one time at least, a widespread funerary practice in Tibet was the Sky Burial.

Sky burial is basically ritualized dissection, where the body is cut in specific location and placed in an open area--then is free to be eaten by birds of prey (or SPIRITS). In Tibet the practice is known as jhator (Tibetan: བྱ་གཏོར་; Wylie: bya gtor), which literally means, "giving alms to the birds." (Thank you, Wikipedia).

Because most of Tibet is at such a high altitude that it is above the treeline, and lacks much topsoil, standard burial isn't an option--cremation is hard too, given that fuel is scarce. The Sky Burial is a practical way to get rid of the remains--and if you're Buddhist and going to be reborn anyway, then the body is only a vessel, and, being unimportant, can be disposed of in what we would consider a relatively "casual" way.